Chap.9-I´ve always been yours
It was new year. I couldn´t believe it. One year had passed ,and I had changed so much, but was still very much the same girl as I was a year ago.
I was excited. Not because of being new year or the vision of a “fresh start” ,it was too late for that. It was too late to try to scape from the ghosts of my past, I knew that. But it wasn’t late for one thing: to go meet Andrew. Just his name made a dumb smile appear on my lips. He had invited me to go watch the fireworks with him tonight, at the beach and I couldn´t nor I wanted to say no. I was really excited to see him, I had really missed him and I hadn’t been with him nearly enough since my dad got back.
When I got to the beach where I was supposed to meet him it was really dark and crowded and I started to panic a little bit. I couldn’t see anything and the loud noise and drunk people made me quite uncomfortable. I started backing out as fast as I could, not watching where I was going and hyperventilating in the middle of the crowd, and just when I felt like I was going to pass out I felt strong and familiar harms grabbing me and pulling me closer -Andrew.
We walked for a few minutes, until a place in the beach that was almost totally desert. He carefully sat me on the sand and he sat beside me, and protectively put his harm around my skinny body while I rested my head on his shoulder.
-Hi-he said in a soft voice.
-Hi-I responded, and, somehow, this word showed him that I was smiling. I was so happy to be there, in his harms. It was like I belonged there, and all my life had been leading me to that very moment.
-You know, life at home hasn’t exactly been good for me this past few days, I always have this feeling like..
He waited for me to continue. Because I didn´t he instigated:
- Like I need to be somewhere else. Like I don’t belong. And this is a feeling that I had my entire life. That I don’t feet in and no matter what I do or how hard I try I never will..
-No, let me finish-he nodded so I continued-but somehow this ,being here ,with you, it feels…right ,and I feel like, here is where I always wanted to be-I smiled and turned my face to him. He looked as beautiful as he always did, his hair was a hot mess and his green eyes where staring back at me with that same glow they always had when he was with me. He pressured his lips to my forehead and something in that gesture showed me that he.. loved me?
In the background, outside from our world we heard people starting to make the count down.
-You know-he told me, resting his forehead in mine- I just realized that you´re not officially my girl.
-I mean, I know we know each other for very little time, and I know how ridiculous I probably look right know-oh he had no idea, I tried not to laugh-but when you really..-is he going to say it?-..love someone-he did!- you don’t need time, you just know. Maybe that’s part of the reason why it never felt like I was getting to know you, it always felt like I was remembering you, your smile, your voice, your touch, your kiss.. and you make me fall in love with you with every second that goes by, I couldn’t possibly imagine life without you , ´cause looking back, until I knew you, it just felt like I was half alive, and you completed it, me-the words where flowing out of his mouth and softly touching my heart, like a secret touch between lovers. A tear streamed down my face- what I’m trying to say is: I love you- he gently whipped the tear out off my face-and I want you to be mine.
I didn’t know what to say so I kissed him and I slowly melted like honey in his mouth, when we got out of breath and I moved my lips apart from his, I was still gasping for air while I leaned forward till my lips softly touched his hear and I whispered-I´m yours.
I´ve always been yours.