Life is completely and utterly unpredictable
Life is completely and utterly unpredictable. Just when you think everything is going great it all turns around in a matter of seconds. In that moment you feel forced to face the cruel reality, you may find yourself asking pathetic questions like why? or why to me? Maybe even questioning everything that you took for granted until it happens, until it all turned around and tumbled at your feet. And it hurts. It’s painful. But just keep in mind that without this eye opener you would never fully appreciate what you have. And although the ride might be hard and you feel like you can’t hold on anymore, just remember that I’m right here, beside you, to help you up if you fall.
So this post is dedicated to my best friend. I love you.
It was already morning when Andrew drove me back home. I said goodbye with a kiss that took more than it probably should.
-Not that I want you to, but shouldn’t you get going love?- Andrew asked me with a sweet smile.
-Yes- I said pulling him closer again for one more kiss. I really didn’t want to go inside and face my dad. So I was just trying to stay near Andrew as long as I possibly could.
After a few more minutes Andrew pulled his lips apart from mine again and looked at me with those beautiful, playfully judgy green eyes, so I finally gave him a last, quick kiss and rushed inside.
It was all surprisingly quiet. Although I did not want to run into my dad I didn’t want not to know where he was either. After going to the kitchen to make some coffee the silence installed in the house started to get loudly uncomfortable. I quickly ran upstairs to check if he was in his bedroom, sleeping. I peeked, standing near his bedroom door, but I still couldn’t find him. I entered the room to see if he really wasn’t inside. He wasn’t. As I was turning back, to get out of the room, convinced he had gone out, as usual, I practically stepped him.
-God! You scared me! Jesus!
He didn’t say anything, giving me the sufficient time to allow me to better examine his face. He looked tired, exhausted. He had that sour smell that I had been smelling in the house, since he had come back. But only know I had associated it with a particular, distinctive smell.
-Dad…-I looked at him with an unexpressive face- have you been throwing up?
He nodded. He had such a desperate face.
-Baby..-he told me- I know you are strong, but there are some fights that not even you can fight against. He went to reach my harm and I quickly pulled back.
-What? What’s going on?- I asked confused.
This was bad. My dad was so strong, he always knew what to do, even if it wasn’t the right thing. We had our differences and I pretended I hated him, but I didn’t. I loved by father. The expression on my face became desperate , lost.
I was practically screaming.
He said the words slowly, like something that is ugly to be said out loud. Has if by saying it, it would become more true then it was, that it would be worst. Like admitting something that made him give up to what he had been fighting against. But has he said, there are some enemies that we can’t fight against. And even if we do, there are some we just can’t win.
-I have cancer.
The light was gone from my face. My face totally unexpressive by the shock. The words echoing in my head.